Pei's Words

so we had a final talk and agreed to forget that i had ever asked him to consider. it makes the most and best sense for us. and now i move forward with my life..and talk to acton guy.

well...we talked and he has said that yes he will continue to consider. so i wait.

so...i thought i was doing good...i wasnt. i still am in love with him...at a performance i had asked him to consider giving us a shot next semester and he agreed to consider. then i stumbled upon new guy and things took off to a point, nothing serious happened. but today i realized that i still think about him alot more than i should if i was truly over him...and that was realized when i told him not to worry about considering and he asked why. i feel if it really wasnt a deal, or he wasnt considering anything it just would have been okay, not why. why says something could be there to me. i could be reading too deep into this which is why i am, hopefully, going to talk to him later tonight. i dont want to rush a decision, but i dont want to wait all semester but thats something i shall discuss with him.

thankfully the new guy understands and we will just be friends for now.

Are you dirty minded? (Girls only) Your Result: Semi-Dirty   You have an occasion dirty thought pop into your mind and when it does you enjoy it to its full extent.You are not a sex maniac,you're a normal dirty-minded person.You'll have good sex in the future because you havent thought of every possibilty! Try thinking up some dirty scenarios some time,you'll be surprised at how much fun you can have!
A little dirty
Secret Sex Maniac
Cleaner than Mother Theresa
Are you dirty minded? (Girls only) Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What Kinda of Vampire Are you? Your Result: Ordinary Vampire   Your plain and simple just like a human, you have a few friends and your a nice person for a vampire, you look like a human, you talk like a human, if you dont watch out you'll lose your vampire spirt.
Angel Vampire
Lone Vampire
Sexy Vampire
Crazy Vampire
Dark Vampire
What Kinda of Vampire Are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

1) we have resolved every last thing (other than he still has my shampoo/conditioner and toothbrush and hair dye)

2) i was on a site similar to facebook and was on this meet me app and stumbled upon someone who grew up and still lives in acton. we began talking and we just hit it off. so we've continued to talk and things are looking very good and upwards. we share alot in common, have many similarities and such and it seems to be working out nice. now, he knows about the recent split, and is cool with it and doesnt want to pressure or rush me which is sweet and rich knows about him and i may even go so far as to say is encouraging me which is also very sweet. rich and i are, and most likely will always be, friends and we still talk and stuff so there is no hard feelings or harm done unlike travis.

Which creature of the night are you? Your Result: Incubus/Succubus   It's all about feeding, isn't it? You pay them back from their energy, though. You give them something (your drama) that will keep them distracted from life, which you consider a terrible joke.
Ghost
Vampire
Sorceror
Demon
Werewolf
Cthulu Spawn
Which creature of the night are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

and i have come to the conclusion that i just didn't want to believe it wasnt working. but towards the end it was more of a physcial relationship than an emotional, even if emotions were still there, and that right now we are meant to be just good friends. who knows what the future holds, but for now this is where we are supposed to be.

i just didnt want to believe that things weren't right..but they weren't and i should've acknowledged them. but whats happened has happened and i still have a great friend instead of noone.

he didnt want to hurt me..but by breaking up with me he did. i love him so very much and i'd do anything for him.

the thing thats hurt me the most is him ending it. and i want to and am going to be friends with him...i want him in my life...but i have to be honest with myself. this hurt me...and hurt me pretty bad. i know he didnt want to or even mean to this bad...but truth is it does. i want to be there for him whenever he needs me to, i want to do whatever it takes to help him...i really would do anything for him.

i want him to come back to me...

if he ever comes back, i'll take him back in a heartbeat...thats how much he means to me...the world.

i want my love bug back. i thought we were perfect for each other and i thought and still think we can make it...even through time and distance. but i have to live with us just being friends for now...but i really want us to be more. i want him back. i want to give us another shot..i want him to want this too.

i believe in second chances, do you?

rich and i just had the final discussion and resolved and last "issues" and everything is ok. a bit sad, but ok. we're still friends though. noone is ignoring each other this time around.

i cant believe what just happened. i am shocked and saddened by it. i understand why he did it, and i respect his decision..i just thought we were stronger than we apparently are. i thought we were doing well, but i guess i was wrong.

i really thought things were different for me this time around...i really thought things were gonna work. just shows what i know, huh? i mean he said there wasnt no chance for us later, he just cant do it right now...but his later is very far away, when we're both out of school? who knows how he'll feel about me then? (especially if right now he isnt sure if hes in love with me anymore, just that there are things he loves about me still) i'm pretty sure i'll still have feelings for him, possibly still even love him...but will i get my happy ending? most likely not and that makes me really sad.

i gave him everything i could. ya, i made mistakes and one of the latest ones was huge and a big part of this but i learned and tried to improve. i really thought we could make it...and make it work. i'm starting to get scared of falling in love..i get hurt everytime i do. i'm starting to wonder if its even worth it? all i know is i dont want to be alone, i want to be with him. but i cant.

at least this time around, he says we can maintain the friendship once i can grasp the fact more.

1. real name → Patience Elizabeth Moberg
2. nicknames →Pei
3. single or taken → taken
4. zodiac sign → virgo
5. male or female → female
6. elementary → Paul P. Gates, acton ma
7. middle → R.J. Grey acton ma
8. high →Acton-Boxborough Regional High
9. eye color → blue
10. hair color → brown
11. long or short → medium
15. are you a health freak → a bit
16. height → 5'1 3/4"
17. do you have a crush on someone → yup (my one and only)
18. do you like yourself → eh, when my eczema is under control mostly
19. piercings → yup (6)
20. tattoos → one
21. righty or lefty → righty

FIRSTS
22. first surgery → eye?
23. first piercing → first set of ears
24. first best friend(s) → Hollis Mcallister
25. first award → softball?
26. first sport → softball
27. first pet →Annabel my calico cat
29. first movie -> no idea. winnie the pooh maybe?

CURRENTLY :
49. eating → nothing
50. drinking → nothing
53. listening to → students outside
55. waiting to → get a call from my love bug
57. wearing → white long sleeve shirt and jeans

YOUR FUTURE :
58. want kids? → yes
59. want to get married? → yes (preferably before the above)
60. career? → medical examiner

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX? :
68. lips or eyes? → both, eyes more though
69. hugs or kisses → both once again.
71. kind or outgoing → both
72. romantic or spontaneous? → spontaneous AND romantic
73. nice stomach or nice arms? → eh, dont care either way
75. hook-up or relationship? → relationship.
77. trouble maker or hesitant? → hmm..neither really

HAVE YOU EVER :
78. kissed a stranger → no
79. drank bubbles → no
80. lost glasses/contacts? →no
81. ran away from home → not really
82. broken any bones → yes
84. broken someone's heart → almost
85. been arrested → no
86. cried when someone died → yes
87. liked a friend → yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
88. yourself → ..mostly
89. miracles → yes
90. love at first sight → yes
91. heaven → ..kind of.
92. Santa Claus → no
93. sex on the first date → no.
94. kissing on the first date → a small one, yes
95. angels → yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :
96. Is there one or more people you want to be with right now? → yeah
97.What's something you're sick of? → my eczema
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → No.
99. Do you believe in God? → eh, sort of
100. Who did you steal this note from? Mr. Rick Desilets

so..i am finally moved into my "7 person staff apartment" and it is totally not that. It is the RD's apartment (normally) but due to housing problems has been turned into a 7 person "suite". MEANING that there are 2 girls in the bedroom, 2 (myself and my friend Hope) in the kitchen, and 3 in the living room. My area has 1 desk, 1 closet/dresser type thing, and we will be getting a small dresser where the stove used to be. due to construction on this building, all the private bathrooms have been closed off as has been the sink so we have a tv and PS2 set up over there. And the the dresser/closet is in front of the door that leads to the bedroom so now we're kinda 2 rooms since the girls over there have another way in and out.

the girls in the living room have 3 beds, two desks and maybe 2 dressers. 2 of them seem to be friends and it seems the third is the odd one out as the rest of us are all friends. but i could be wrong. but i may not be and in that case i shall befriend her. she seems rather nice.

i dont know what the girls in the bedroom have as i didnt just waltz in there when i got here, and there has since been a closet/dresser put infront of the door. though im sure my key works on their door, but that wouldnt help me in any certain way.

so, august has gone by so much faster than i thought it would. i cannot not wait until tomorrow when i finally get to see and be with my love bug for the weekend. tomorrow is also my last official day ever at Hopscotch and it appears i may get hired at FYE for the winter. i'm going to be trying for in internship for next summer, we'll see how that one goes.

its our six month anniversary on sunday. i'm so happy, and i can't believe how lucky i am.

i finally got my dorm assignment, and its a 7 person staff apartment in of the residence halls being used for students this year. Unfortunately, due to construction on this building the private bathroom accompanying this room has been closed off as have all the other private bathrooms in the building. but still, i finally have a room! we think the layout is a common room, 3 bedrooms (two triples and one double we think), a kitchen and a bathroom (that we cant use :( ) but we'll see i guess.

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MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

so, today, with the help of my cousin, i figured out what i follow..what my "religion" is. i put religion in quotes for its more of a belief than a religion. with all that i've been thinking about recently, i'd been thinking about beliefs and paths and religions more. and i've come to the realiziation i'm a spiritalist. that is someone who follows spiritism, a branch of spiritualism. wiki it :p. or ask me later.

well, here i am sitting in a computer lab at WPI while Rich does his homework like a good boy. this means that i pulled off my plan, and soup-y needs to call me :p. so CALL me!! haha. anywhooo....thats all thats new for now.

i<3 surprises.